Learning not to apologize for our own existance.
there is this one fashion page I follow. It's a place where we can buy discounted LulaRoe clothing (leggings, print tops, if you aren't familiar) and one of the things I enjoy about it is all the shoppers post pictures of themselves wearing their new tops, leggings, dresses.
They explain how they dressed it up, layered it, what shoes they wore with it, etc. This is how I rocked it, they say.
The clothes fit from a XXS to XXXL. It's a body positive place. You can say - oh, that will look great with a belt, too. or give them advice on how to rock their outfit a bit more. You can even say - eh that doesn't really go together. Pattern mixing is tough, after all. but no one is allowed to say "Fat people/ skinny people/ black people/ white people shouldn't wear X" Seems simple, right? (it isn't. some people are miserable cows, after all)
But it's also fun. these are women who are now self-made models.
invariably, while posting a woman will say "Oh, sorry for the background mess" or "sorry my hair looks like this" or the worst is "sorry, my belly looks ugly in this shirt, skirt, dress."
One day, a woman said STOP APOLOGIZING. We don't care if your kids have their toys in the background or if you bathroom mirror isn't spotless. only YOU see those things. We see a beautiful woman rocking a pencil skirt for the first time.
and it made me think. How often do we apologize over our perceived human failings?
STOP. Ya'll are beautiful. Do well. Learn. Never stop growing. But stop apologizing for simply being you.
Sometimes when I read other author's books, I am stunned at how beautiful their word choices are. The pictures they make in my mind. And i think, why bother? I'm not as talented as X. I can't ever write books like X.
I want to apologize for my poems, my happy little stories, and my poor word choices. I have to remind myself that no, I'll never write a Nora Roberts book. That's okay, though. Nora Roberts already exists in the world and writes fabulous books.
But on the flip side, she will never write one of my books. No one will. My voice is unique and I'm the only one who can produce them.
Learning to stop comparing yourself to an ideal is a journey. One I hope you take with me.
xoxo,
Summer Donnelly.
